Monthly Archives: January, 2021

Treason for Dummies

Everyone likes to begin with that shock and awe question. How did this happen?

Well, let’s begin with some obvious answers. They were allowed in. Yes, at some level, they were. In many places. Reinforcements were refused and at least one Capitol police officer took a selfie with the mob (see photo above). Someone, somewhere was hooked in on this and let it happen.  Not everyone, but just enough folks to make the Capitol of our country as porous as Food Lion Swiss Cheese. Start with the President and work your way down. This was an ‘inside’ job as they say. Also, as they say, ‘fish rot from the head.’ And this head is exceptionally smelly.

Usually this question is followed by the proud assertion “But this is not us!”

Well, if it’s not us, then who exactly is it?

Of course, it’s us.  It is us in all our vainglorious, murderous, clownish, white supremacist glory.

Some in the mob came with a specific game plan. Kill Speaker Pelosi. Hang Mike Pence. This phalanx likely caused most of the death and destruction. Not to mention smearing fecal matter and blood in the Capitol.

Others, perhaps the majority, didn’t know what to do once they got in. They stood there like they were in a state of surprise themselves. It was the classic dog catches car moment. Many kept to the roped corridors in an empty hall, still obeying the invisible commands of decorum. Elizabeth from Knoxville, seemed genuinely shocked when she was hit with pepper spray, for, you know, being part of a violent mob. If she had only joined just one little BLM protest over the summer, she might have saved herself a lot of that surprise as thousands of BLM activists were hit with pepper spray, shot with rubber bullets and beaten merely for standing on the wrong side of the street.

Most of them had no plan, had no organization, and didn’t appear to know what they actually wanted, once they got in. Those that did, settled on souvenirs, like the joker who clowned it up for the cameras stealing the Speaker’s lectern.  He’s in jail now. Or like the Darwin award candidate who managed to kill himself by tazing his testicles. Repeatedly. As he sought to steal a painting of Tip O’ Neil. He is, of course, dead now.

They were from all over the hinterland, but not exactly Les Mis. Take the gent who wore a T-shirt proclaiming, “Six Million Wasn’t Enough.” Or the other gent, wearing the hoodie proclaiming “Auschwitz camp.” Isn’t it enough to see a shirt like that to know you might be marching on the wrong side of history? Or that Confederate Flag carried through the Capitol for the first time ever, something not even Confederate soldiers were able to do during the Civil War. What type of person wants to march behind that symbol of treason nearly 200 years old? Many were police from across the country—and it might not be a bad idea to do a head count of our local PDs to see who was and who wasn’t around that day. Many, despite their oath to the constitution, were ex-military, like the Air Force lady (who, by the way, had a criminal record–why is that never mentioned with reports of white people doing bad things?) who decided to Rambo her way into the Capitol and who was promptly shot in the neck. She’s dead now, too.  Or like the Lt. Colonel with the collection of zip ties, for, you know kidnapping Mike Pence or Nancy Pelosi before they were ceremoniously executed. He is in jail now.  He has apologized for being a traitor. I’m sure that will get taken into consideration at his trial. Along with his military pension and his health benefits.

Some were elected state officials, like the goober from West Virginia who has now decided to resign, because, as many are discovering, people actually hate traitors. He is charged with two counts of trespassing which will hopefully bring jail time.  There were small business owners, like the Food Truck guy from our very own RVA. He is apologetic that he took part now, too. I suspect he is mostly trying to save his business, discovering once again that people actually hate traitors. I’d recommend jail time, anyhow, and, of course, not eating at his Food Truck. There were mom and pops with strollers.  

Rumor has it that Chief Justice Clarence Thomas’ wife, Ginni Thomas, paid for 70 buses to bring these potential insurrectionists to the Capitol’s steps. Not verified, but she certainly did cheer them on, sending her ‘love’ to the assembled mob, and writing on her Facebook page “God Bless Each Of You!” It has since been taken down. Others, with deeper pockets, traveled in style. According to Rebecca Solnit, one protestor arrived in a private jet.

They were in the Capitol for three hours. They managed to kill four of their own numbers (one sad person was trampled to death as she carried the iconic ‘Do Not Tread on Me’ flag. Note to self: no one pays attentions to signs in a mob) And one police officer who unsurprisingly was a Trump fan, himself. Not being especially discriminating, the mob bludgeoned him to death with a fire extinguisher.  (Note: another Capitol police officer killed himself on the 9th of January–no suicide note was found.) 

What else? They managed to take hundreds of thousands of selfies and videos while committing felonies, and of course, their fecal matter (which they also left) will make for excellent DNA samples to match their winning profiles.  Nice afternoon work, guys. Smile for the cameras!

The round up is proceeding apace. I’m not sure I have much to offer outside of the obvious. Prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law. You don’t need to pass any new laws. You merely need to enforce the existing laws. Impeach the President, if he doesn’t resign. This is not over and we will not get back to ‘normal’ until many people are held to account for this nonsense. Begin with the top clown, Trump, and work your way down to the shirtless Shaman freak (now also arrested) who needs to find himself on a hard cot in a Federal prison somewhere that is very, very cold.